The Jerk Code: An Introduction

I assume if you’re reading this you’re here for one of two reasons: You’re a woman who has been burnt by a jerk and you are dying to understand why, or you’re a jerk yourself and you want to know if you’re doing it right. Either way, I couldn’t care less.

I’ve never been one to care much for writing, but my friend Selena has been insisting that I’ve got something to say for my past experiences with these so-called creatures that have been hailing from Venus. I’d say some of them are Satan’s children and some deserve to be living on Mount Olympus among the gods. Considering my track record, I’ve had my share of both and sadly, I’ve had less experiences with the latter.

I’ve been called many wonderful things in my time: A player, a dick, a womanizer and occasionally, a charmer. My favorite name though, as you’ll grow soon to find out why, has always been jerk. And let me tell you something: Us jerks are awesome. Everyone thinks they understand us but no one really does.

Don’t try to rationalize your own experiences through mine. Don’t take my tricks and try to pull them off. You will fail if you try to do either and you’ll find yourself down the line asking why you ever bothered reading The Jerk Code.

Disclaimer: This blog will contain obscene content and is not recommended for the common wuss. Or the crying feminist. Get over yourself.

Here’s to all the fellow jerks who get it and all the women who never will. Welcome. Welcome to The Jerk Code.

JC